Blame it on the rain.

It's cloudy and rainy today and I wish I could just melt back into bed and sleep the rest of the day but I have to head to class to face an exam I barely studied for...only because it never made sense to begin with. Gave me a headache trying to fit all the information in and sorting it out. It didn't make any sense. Our last lecture was snowed out so we never got to learn about it really...and here we are a week later to take a test on it. Isn't it great? Damn one day a week classes. You get screwed left and right with those kinds of things. Anyway. I don't want to go to class. I don't want to go to work. I want to find something more interesting to do. I'm starting to believe being all grown up and mature isn't very fun. It was better when I didn't have any responsibilities or commitments or obligations. I miss the old days when I was invited to random backyard barbeques with beer and getting stupid not worrying about work the next day or being picked up in fast cars to race around the highway in order to get to PA just to play with guns. Or dancing the night away in some no room for air sketchy club filled with soap bubbles they call foam that hurt incredibly when it made contact with my eye(s) and then realizing we missed the last bus home. Or late night drives with my best friend to a city I hate because her boyfriend is there and that guy I liked. Or packing our bags to head upstate for an entire week of snowboarding fun, which really meant one day of snowboarding and 6 days of partying.

But now here I am. Doing the same thing day after day. Week after week. And it's not enough for me. This whole facade of being happy and satisfied and content with my life isn't lasting as long as I hoped it would. I'm getting bored with all of it. I'm getting tired of looking at these same surroundings expecting something to be different one day when everyday is the same shit. I want to start another adventure. Another life...or at least go back to my old one.

There is one thing though that I don't want to change and I hope he never goes away because he's the best thing that has happened to me. He's the reason for me to be okay with what I do every day. <3

I'm waiting for a package. Right now it's in Louisville, KY. Hopefully it comes soon. I'm getting a new Flip Mino. The small user friendly camcorder. It's design is called Play It Louder with Kuromi from Sanrio. I thought all the designs out and figured this one to match me the most and I enjoy the white for extra room of personalization just in case. I can't wait for it to get here. Then maybe I'll purposefully head out to make good use of it. It sure is smaller than my Nikon D60 and much lighter. I'm planning on taking it with me everywhere for those damn I wish I had a camera moment because now...I'm gonna have one ! I'll tell you how it goes when I get it. =)


I wish summer was here already. Not because of the heat...because I hate the heat but because I feel freer then. Like a kid on summer vacation you know? Except I still have work and what not. Damn I wish I could've told my kid self to sl0w down and enjoy those days because they're not gonna last forever. Other adults told me...but at that age...what do they know right? But if the me now went to the me then...I think I'd listen. Then again how often to we really listen to ourselves anyway. I want to lay on the beach with a nice breeze blowing through and I want to hear the waves crashing against the shore and smell the sea mixed with sunblock. ... Or at least my days to get brighter.